Hope in the Midst of Hurting Marriages – Part III

By: Karen Polich with Curtis & Michelle McFadden

God designed more for marriage.

His Word calls husbands to an uncompromising commitment to consideration. “Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.” (1Peter 3:7)

Pastor Michael Cook continued the “10 Characteristics of Consideration”.
1. Be the spiritual leader.
2. Tenderness.
3. Intimate conversation.
4. Affection.
5. Give her security.
6. Time.
7. Help.
8. Romance.
9. Personal development of her life.
10. Spend time with God.

Curtis and Michelle McFadden share their thoughts.


Reflections of a husband.
These sermons grabbed my attention. I was reminded that I need to improve as a husband. My wife is my friend, life partner and lover. Our relationship is second only to my relationship with the Lord. I liked how the ten characteristics of consideration started and finished with God. Husbands need a solid foundation in making important decisions. A strong relationship with God starts with daily time spent with Him. This will allow me to be the spiritual leader in my household, not that my wife cannot, but because God has instructed me to lead my family.

I need to have a routine to date my wife. During our younger years, before marriage and three lovely kids, I wanted to know Michelle as a person. What she liked to do, her favorite foods, hobbies and activities. I just wanted to spend time with her. Time becomes scarce but I cannot make that an excuse. Weekly dates might not always work, but I need to spend time with my wife daily. Have a cup of coffee, talk to her during dinner, pray with her before bedtime, so when the kids are gone and life slows down I will not be sitting in front of a stranger. I need to constantly study and learn the subject of Michelle.

Reflections of a wife.
A recent survey found that on average husbands and wives spend only 37 minutes together a week. I was shocked until I took a look at my own life. With three young children, it takes creativity to spend quality time together. Neither of us can really be a helpmate without quality time. We have been known to put our kids to bed when there is still daylight just to have a date night in our home. These have been special moments when I have seen my confidence build as a woman and truly felt like my husband helped me see the gifts that God has given me. This is why time is so precious to me. Time is all the areas of security, romance and personal development.

Knowing that my husband is called to honor me as we are coheirs in God got me to thinking, “Hurray, bring on the chivalry!” It doesn’t mean I just want him to give in to all I say or think. There will be disagreements. God made us unique. This is where I realized I may not be allowing my husband to honor me. Society tells us to be “superwoman” or “supermom”, that we can do it all and on our own. Not true. I have seen what this does to me and how it hurts my husband as well. As a wife, I should welcome the honor my husband shows me.

I was deeply encouraged to pray for my husband. I would never want his prayers to be hindered. Without that connection to God, it could lead to disaster in our home. I pray his relationship with Christ always stands firm and that it remains a priority.

To listen to Pastor Michael Cook, click here.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s